My name is Bob, I am 3 and a half years old, I am a bearded dragon. I live with a lady named Mommy, an alien named Stevie (everyone thinks he’s a gecko) and I have a sister named Gretchen. Gretchen and I grew up in the same cage until we were adults, then we were separated. Stevie and I went with Mommy and Gretchen went with a guy named Daddy. I am way to big for a cage now, so I just roam around a two story townhouse, I am 28 inches long and weigh 1.4 pounds. Gretchen and I were hatched on the very same day, but I am 3 times bigger than she is. She stayed tiny even though she eats everything in sight.
I used to think that Mommy and Daddy were the smartest and most magical people on Earth. They can operate a television set just by pushing buttons on a little box, they can walk around the house with their computers and do anything from their jobs, to looking at videos any time they want. They have phones that will play music, games and the Internet. Mommy has a Kindle that has all her books on it, freeing up space on the bookshelf, it has lots of pictures and games. So I thought that was magic and smarts!
Then one day, Mommy took me to her work. It was so fascinating! Everyone paid a lot of attention just to me! People took my picture and they pet me and basically entertained me for an hour. But I learned something very important that day. Mommy and Daddy are not the only ones who can control inanimate objects, all the people in Mommies work also had magical phones, and televisions, and they were all using computers. So, it stood to reason that it wasn’t magic and even though it was smarts, anyone could learn it – including me!
And that is how it all started!
Four days a week Mommy leaves the house to go to work and leaves me at home to babysit Stevie. On the days she would leave her laptop open, I would turn it on and look stuff up on the Internet, and on the days she closed it, or put it out of my reach, I worked the television box and Stevie and I would watch TV. We like cartoons, and sports, and movies, I like anything Pixar or Dreamworks and Stevie likes Ancient Aliens. I think it is because he is an alien. Mommy says he is a gecko, but we have seen the Geico gecko on tv and Stevie isn’t like him. For one thing, Stevie is orange, walks on all fours, and he has a Canadian accent (weird placement on syllables and ‘aye’ after his sentences). The Geico gecko is green, walks upright, and has an English accent. The stuff Stevie does is so strange that he and I have decided that he was from a different planet. He seems fine with it and I kind of like having an alien for a pet.
I have become quite good at the Kindle, the laptop and the television. I even know what time to turn those off before Mommy comes home. She is a creature of habit, but she been known to come home early and she has walked in on me watching television or typing. And she thinks she did it. Sometimes for fun I hide the remote from her, but lately that just makes her nuts.
Sometimes, I have a very busy day – Mommy calls it ‘running amok’ but there are just things I need to get done. There isn’t a bug I can’t eat, a dust bunny I can’t find, a stair I can’t climb, or corner I can’t hide in. Sometimes, I have nothing to do and since I have a lot of time on my hands, I decided to start my own blog.
Hope you enjoy! And if you don’t – log out! My blog certainly isn’t for everyone!